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A Grand Entrance

I arrived home late tonight and let me tell you, I was exhausted.  I was committed to making one “give it all ya got” trip from the car to the house so I successfully balanced one suitcase, one laptop, three grocery bags, a jug of chai tea, one bag of books and a body pillow to the front door, only to plow through a massive spider web and a chunky spider in the dark entrance of our house. I think I swallowed part of the spider web but you know, it didn’t really matter – I’ve made peace with reality that Chris and I share our home, inside and out, with spiders – that’s what you get when you live by the water and trees.  Besides, my mind was in another place, enjoying the memories of the past three days in Ottawa with the OVERFLOW group.

What DID matter was the fact that as I was wiping spider web goo from my face, I realized that there was no house key on my key chain. I also quickly discovered that the lock box key was not in the lock box. This was a problem. It was too late to wake up the neighbours, too far to drive back to my friend’s house and my husband, Chris was fast asleep in South Carolina.

Come on, Diane…I know you’re tired but think outside the box.”  (I find a little bit of “self talk” comes in handy at times.)

For a fleeting moment, I thought  about sleeping in our boat and using all the towels in the boathouse for blankets. It also crossed my mind to curl up in the back seat of our car but the train passes by about ten feet from where the car is parked.  I envisioned the car shaking every time a train roared by and figured this was not conducive to a good night’s sleep.  There had to be a better solution.

I decided to break into my own house.

I went down to the boat house and fetched a stool.  Despite the fact that my weight caused the stool to slowly sink into the front garden dirt, I managed to remove the screen, push the window open (I left it unlocked) and shimmy myself up and over a window sill flower arrangement. I’m afraid that my cascading geraniums will never be the same again.

It was not a pretty sight, especially when I landed head first in my kitchen sink, with my legs dangling outside the window.  All I can say is that I’m very glad that it was dark outside at the time.

After knocking down the compost pail, the fan, the phone and the paper towel rack, I managed to gather all my body parts and fall gracefully to the floor.

…definitely not one of my finer moments but at least I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight!

No Comments

  1. leigh

    you must give your neighbor a key~ i wish i had this on video! xoxo

    • I DID give my neighbour a key…but it was too late to wake them up! and no…you wouldn’t have wanted to see this ungraceful entrance on video! 🙂 (It WAS funny,though….)

  2. Kathy

    This is too funny!! Perhaps you could write a book about life’s mishaps??
    Kind of like Erma Bombeck!!! Very entertaining and FUNNY!!
    I think Chris could add his point of view… Keep writing.
    P.S. Are you sore today?

    • No comment about soreness. Let’s just say that my geraniums and I are both suffering a bit this morning! 🙂 Diane

  3. Karen Perrott

    I love this story. ( but I’m sure you didn’t- as it was happening – I know how tired you were – cause I was too)
    Hope you have some down time today, and thanks for the great time in Ottawa – oh fearless leader!

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