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Anger Management

This is a tough one.  I couldn’t let this situation with the mechanic go. ( See August 30, October 11 ) This man did not respond to either of the emails that we both sent him and hand-delivered to him. I talked with Chris and we decided that we would go and see him in person today. Neither of us were looking forward to the confrontation but both of us felt that we needed to hold this man accountable for both his dishonest business practices as well as his disrespectful response.

Oh boy…things went from bad to worse. Let me explain what happened. Basically, this man denied receiving both emails, (yet,in the midst of our conversation, he referred to what was written in the email) he said that Chris was lying about the work order, he told me that I was lying about his rude response to me, (“it’s your word against mine, lady”) he refused to give us a copy of the work order and then he ordered us out of his office (“Get outta here. I never want to see yous again.”) 

…and that was the nice part of the conversation.

On the way home, there was a very loud silence.  Chris was fuming. I think his exact words were, “Good thing that counter was too high for me to jump over”  Chris is not a violent man…in fact, he is one of the gentlest men I have ever met. But this was one of the most frustrating experiences we’ve ever had.

I understand that the Bible says there are times when you overlook an offence but I didn’t think that being over charged and treated rudely qualified as one of those times.  I tried responding with grace but I just couldn’t let go of the situation.  I am very aware that life is unfair but there remains in me a strong sense of justice. Chris and I are committed to taking the high road in terms of our response but I don’t believe that our  Christian faith calls us to be doormats in situations like this. When something is wrong, it’s wrong. I believe we are feeling righteous anger.

Be angry but do not sin. Ephesians 4:26

It’s not about revenge – it’s about doing the right thing.  So, this leaves us in a real pickle We are not taking legal action – that is a boundary that we are not crossing. This mechanic’s shop doesn’t belong to the Better Business Bureau so that’s a dead end.  We’ve decided to contact the Consumer Protection Agency and register a complaint with this business. That’s all we can do.

So, what am I learning from all this? Well, I’m reminded of Proverbs 29.11

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

…and James 1:19

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 

…but those verses are only about men.  (I’m joking)

I’m painfully reminded that people can be really ugly and it’s not my job to fix them. I desire to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit working within me that instructs me to do what is right but also moves me towards love…and that’s where I am failing.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13: 5 says, (love) is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

So, I need to stop blogging now and talk to God.

No Comments

  1. Barb

    That’s a toughy Diane. I guess, knowing me, I would have let it go long ago. Not for spiritual reasons either. As you know, risk taking and confronting is not in my vocabulary. However, JD has an unusual gift of confronting with grace, and they always apologize in the end , not always for the fraudulent way of doing business but for responding in anger.

    Take the higher road, now and surrender this to the Lord and pray that through this, this “dear” man may realize the error of his ways, and seek after God who alone can convict him.

    We have all been in your shoes at one time or another!

    I admire your vulnerability and transparency! You are quite the gal!


  2. leigh

    I/we would file a complaint and put the “word” out in your neighborhood and to everyone we knew, of this man’s “business practices”. Craig is amazing as a mediator, and does NOT stand for shady business people/deals! Shall i send him up? he is in Buffalo next week….:) xo

    • Hey, Leigh….thanks for the offer but I’m putting this one to bed soon! However, anytime that Craig wants to come to this side of border and hang out with Chris and I, he is ALWAYS welcome. You need to come too! Diane

  3. Jessie Burgess

    I can understand your frustration and anger over this situation…..but I don’t think that God expects us to be ‘doormats’. Have you thought about contacting Pat Foran at CTV? He investigates unfair business dealings on the News at 6:00 pm. Perhaps he can get some satisfaction for you….at least the Auto shop will get some unwanted publicity. ‘Mrs. B’

  4. Danielle

    I think that Jessie’s idea about contacting Pat Foran is a great one!

  5. Anne

    Hmm – how about a nice fruit basket with a card that says “while we cannot condone your business practices, we still uphold your worth as a person” – I believe it’s the old “heaping coals of fire on their head” philosophy!

    • Hi Anne…now, I REALLY like your idea! Thanks! Diane

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