A few days ago, I experienced a moment that brought back some very painful memories – I was in the same place geographically as a woman who used to be a very close friend. We hadn’t seen each other for about three years and when we came together, there was a painful awkwardness when our eyes met.
After much emotional turmoil and many attempts to reconcile, I have made peace with reality about the loss of this friendship and the two of us have gone our separate ways. However, it ‘stung’ when I saw her again.
I read a perspicacious quote that aptly described the undeniable depth of pain that I felt when this woman walked away from our friendship.
WE CALL THAT PERSON WHO HAS LOST HIS FATHER, AN ORPHAN; AND A WIDOWER THAT MAN WHO HAS LOST HIS WIFE. BUT THAT MAN WHO HAS KNOWN THE IMMENSE UNHAPPINESS OF LOSING A FRIEND, BY WHAT NAME DO WE CALL HIM? HERE EVERY LANGUAGE IS SILENT AND HOLDS ITS PEACE IN IMPOTENCE. Joseph Roux
I do believe that God brought us together for a season and we were wonderful support for each other as we went through our own difficult and dark days. But circumstances change and people change. Certainly, we learn more about ourselves through the trials, don’t we?
Colin McCartney (author and executive director of UrbanPromise Toronto) has written that trials are “beautiful disappointments” – I like that concept because I believe that God gifts us with unknown blessings and unforeseen opportunities to grow as we make our way through the inevitable tough times.
Meeting this friend of mine again – well, it triggered something deep within me. I have never been the same since I experienced the loss of this friendship but I have moved on and learned much from processing all that I have felt and more importantly, all that I know is truth. It wasn’t the first time I felt such loss and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
A dear friend sent me this song today, as I was writing this blog. The words of this song are truth and they remind me that God does not waste any experiences in my life, painful or otherwise.