It was about two years ago but I vividly remember the phone message. I had just come home after a very long day of teaching, I’d kicked off my shoes, changed into my soft clothes (as my Nana used to call “non work clothes”) and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the blinking light on the phone. Before planting myself on the sofa, I listened to the message. It was my 3 year old grandson.
” I yuv my yife, Nana…I yuv my yife.” That was it. Little Phoenix, who was having a bit of trouble pronouncing his “L” sound that day, had said what was on his mind and then had hung up the phone.
Well, it just made me smile for the next couple of days , and it got me thinking. Do I yuv my yife? I know that the idea of loving your life isn’t exactly theologically sound, but there is a nugget of challenge tucked into this heart felt statement.
I can tell you flat-straight-out that there have been many seasons of my life when it has been difficult to claim that truth. In fact, there have been moments that I could hardly breathe, let alone thank God, because life was so painful. John Lennon wisely said, “Life is what happens between all your plans.” I for one, have struggled deeply with the challenge of choosing joyin the midst of life when it is not going the way I had hoped or planned or dreamed. I continue to learn about attitude and my emotional posture before God – intentionally thanking and praising Him – despite the messiness of life’s circumstances.
Six months ago, I began to seriously think and pray about taking a year off work and writing a book. It was another difficult season as my husband and I were really wrestling with this decision. I had a good job and a steady income, yet, as Bill Hybels so articulately explains in his book of the same title, there was a “Holy Discontent” going on in my soul, and I was very aware of it. A young student put it beautifully when she confidently told me, “Your book is calling you, Mrs. L.” My heart’s desire was to rest, read, write, and ride my bike for a year – what I called “The 4 “Rs” (well, three out of 4 Rs) – but it needed a big step of faith.
I took that step.
Now, I am in a season of life when I can truly say, “I yuv my yife.” I love every minute of every day’s writing – the rhythm – the pace. I wake up early every morning and I attack the day – starting with my homemade fruit and vegetable, fish oil and flax seed smoothie. I spend time with God , I jump on my bike (or the elliptical machine), I muddle my way through those dreaded arm and abdomen exercises, and then I start writing. I am just bursting with thanksgiving and praise and I truly understand Eric Lidel’s passion in “Chariots of Fire” because when I write, “I do feel His pleasure.”
Don’t get me wrong – life is not perfect – but I am basking in these days. I am well aware that it won’t always be like this because it hasn’t always been like this and I know better. I am truly sucking the life out of each glorious day. It’s easier to be thankful these days, it’s easier to “yuv my yife” but I am constantly reminded that God is my Hope – no matter how I perceive my circumstances. I need to praise Him through it all.
A friend gave me a beautiful card which I taped into my journal.
“GOD GUIDES US WITH HIS HAND TO ASSURE US OF HIS PRESENCE. HE DIRECTS US BY HIS WORD TO ASSURE US OF HIS PURPOSE. HE LEADS US BY HIS VOICE TO ASSURE US OF HIS PEACE.” Roy Lessin
God’s eye is upon each of us to direct each step we take.
Thank you God… for directing me into this glorious season. I love every minute of learning how to write a book. I have so much to learn.
May I glorify You in all that I do.