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NOT A Good First Impression

I’m back in the gym again.

Once it gets really cold outside, I don’t venture out on my bike. I remember the days long ago when I actually let my daughter drive herself, my son, my school clothes and all my books to school while I jumped on my bike at 6:15 a.m and rode 45 K to school . . .  in the freezing cold weather. One day, I actually rode through a snow storm and I was quite late arriving to school. Let me tell you, the teacher who had to cover my first and second classes was NOT impressed.

These days, when the temperature drops, the bike goes away.

This morning, I had finished my cardio workout and was during some stretching when into the room pranced a young woman, probably about 18 years old, all decked out in her fancy schmancy yoga attire and designer shoes. She proceeded to do a very interesting and strenuous core body workout so while I was stretching, I was also sneaking a peek at her routine through the mirror. Once she finished, I asked her some questions about the exercises she was doing and she replied,“Oh, I learned all these awesome exercises at Boot Camp but I think you might be a bit too old to do them. They’re very difficult.”

I sucked in my belly and rolled back my shoulders.

I wanted to stop her right in the middle of her upward-facing dog pose, sit her down and tell her some stories about my seven-hour gymnastic workouts when I was her age and how I performed a back layout, full twist on the trampoline one week after I delivered my first child (honestly, I thought my uterus fell out when I landed) and furthermore, about teaching fitness classes all the way through my second and third pregnancy AND experiencing natural child birth three times AND . . . well, you get it the drift.

But I didn’t.

I just smiled and continued on with my sit ups.

When Yoga Lady left the stretching room, I casually sauntered over to the mat and began to go through the core body exercise routine that I watched her doing. I mean, how difficult could it be?

I walked my upper body down the mat and secured my push up position. So far, so good. Easy peasy.

Then I lowered myself to my elbows, into a plank pose. I have to admit, I started hurting . . but I didn’t want to give up so I thrust my right leg up and down I tumbled. SPLAT! onto the mat.  (I was so glad that the music was pumped up high in the gym because I’m pretty sure this SPLAT would have been heard clear across the room.)

But I didn’t give up.  No-sir-ee. I tried again . . . only this time, little Miss Fitness Queen had entered the room and I hadn’t noticed because I was too busy trying to settle into my plank position again. As I thrust my left leg up, I suddenly felt my leg being pulled straight up towards the ceiling. I lost my balance and down I landed – right on top of Boot Camp Mama.

My body had trapped this young woman on the mat and there was no way out for her. Shamefully, I admit to a moment of feeling great victory in our relationship but it didn’t last long because she whispered to me, “Please get off me  – I can’t breathe.”

Yes. This is where it’s come. I landed on a fitness instructor and she couldn’t get up until I rolled over on the mat and released her.

You can’t imagine how embarrassed I was.

I mean, I thoroughly enjoy older woman-younger woman friendships but THIS was a humbling and awkward way to meet!




  1. Kathy

    On Diane! You had me in stitches! I’ve just read it out loud to Maddie and we both had a great laugh.
    Love the way you write!
    This one has to be shared!!!

    • Diane (Author)

      Glad YOU can laugh about ! 🙂 Maddie too!

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