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Wrong Door

“Do you want to keep the cash or take what’s behind the curtain?”

 

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I remember this night oh, so well.

Chris and I attended a vows renewal ceremony a while back and at one point during the evening,  I had to use the washroom so I mentioned to Chris that I’d be right back. The washroom was quite magnificent and for a kinesthetic person, I couldn’t resist trying out the tantalizing display of creams, mouthwash, soaps and perfumes. Once that sensual experience was over, I headed to the stall, which wasn’t actually a stall but a separate little room that was completed isolated from the other stall-rooms. I locked the door behind me, did my business and when I tried to unlock the door, I couldn’t.

I was stuck in the bathroom – a bathroom that was a room in and of itself. I must have tried twenty times to unlock the door, without success. I sat on the toilet and humbly resorted to Plan B.

I texted Chris with this message:

Please ask Amy to come into the bathroom and get me out of here! I’m stuck in the bathroom stall!

I waited…another five minutes, hoping to be rescued. Unfortunately, Chris didn’t respond to the text. He was too busy talking with Amy.

Plan C – yell for help.

I felt so humiliated but decided to swallow my pride, since I didn’t have a Plan D.

I waited until I heard the click of high heels on the tile floor.

“Hello?  Hello? Can you hear me?

Silence. I think that woman ran for her life.

I waited a couple more minutes and finally, another high –  heeled woman walked into the bathroom.

“Hello?  Can you help me? I’m stuck in this bathroom stall thing!”

“Oh, yeah… you picked the wrong door.”

I had to smile – I felt like I had chosen the door with the pet donkey on The Price is Right.

“Last time I was in here, I went in that stall  – you gotta’ turn the latch really quickly and aggressively.”

How can a trip to the bathroom become this much of a challenge?

The woman continued to coach me on the intricate dealings of unlocking the door and after a minute of strategically turning the notch at a precise speed, I managed to escape.

It was nice to put a face to my rescuer’s voice. We shared a good laugh together and I’m sure she snickered her way through the story she told her husband when she returned to the festivities. No question – it’s a strange way to meet someone but well…maybe THIS is why women always go to the bathroom together – the one time I ventured out on my own and look what happened!!

No Comments

  1. leigh

    You NEVER cease to amaze me with your “antics”. i am about to wet my pants at this visualization! oh, to have just been a fly on the wall in that room with you! i think i would have let you sit for a while longer while i giggled~xo

    • Well, thank you so much, Leigh…for your deeply felt support! 🙂 May you never be stuck in a bathroom!!
      Love Diane

  2. Yikes! What a nightmare! I think I’d be really pounding on the door!!!
    Not sur if I could have been as calm as you!
    Next time take door number two with no lock!

  3. cousin Aili

    Yeah – so there is something to be said for NOT locking the bathroom door 🙂 Always enjoy your blogs Diane !!!

    • Another good suggestion…thanks Aili! Glad you’re enjoying the blogs! By the way, Chris and I are now the proud owners of an awesome bird feeding system and we are being bombarded with all kinds of cool birds in our front lawn. It was your funky bird feeder that got us started with all this…so thanks so much! Diane

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