One of my friends sent this little note to me a while ago and I tucked it away, knowing that I would have a day like today when it would perfectly express how I feel. Thanks, Anne…for helping me articulate in such a “right on” way!
It doesn’t happen very often but once in a while, I wake up and unbeknownst to my mind, my body refuses to get going. Today was one of those days. It felt like my body was in the middle of a ten hour, non-stop “sigh.” Now, I can’t say it’s unusual that I stayed in my PJs all day because the truth is that I’ve been writing a book in my pajama bottoms for seventeen months! (Tight waist bands and leaning over a laptop eight hours/day just don’t jive together) But I can say that I felt really tired from the get-go.
I think between the book being finished, Christmas being packed up and all our grown up kids being gone, my body was in desperate need of a“do nothing day.” Exercise usually revitalizes me but this morning, I just couldn’t get the elliptical machine pedals or the weights to cooperate so I settled with some very lazy stretching and a few sit ups while I watched a taped episode of Criminal Minds. I was thinking of taking a nap this afternoon but I already felt a bit guilty for sleeping in so I decided to push my way through that afternoon slouch time and stay up for dinner. Chris made a delicious salmon and I managed to throw some vegetables together for a salad. Preparing dinner was exhausting.
Even my fingers feel heavy as I blog today.
I have a tendency to keep going and not respect the emotional fatigue that sweeps over me at times. I find it fascinating that God has made us in such a way that our physical bodies carry the heaviness of mental and emotional challenges. At some point, our bodies say, “Enough!” and we’re forced to tone it down for a day or so. Sometimes, to my demise, I forget this reality.
Some people get sick when they finally give themselves permission to relax – for me, it’s a profound and lingering fatigue that overtakes my body and slaps me in the face.
I’m actually very thankful that this happens to me.
I’ve wisely succumbed. I’m heading into the other room to wrap myself in a blanket and do some mindless crocheting. It will be nice to sit quietly with my husband. Before I hit the sack, I’m going to read my Bible. His Word, last word.
Tomorrow’s another day.
My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. Exodus 33.14