These adventures definitely makes life interesting!
I was on my bike this morning, minding my own business and heading back from a long ride. As I headed down a quiet rural road, I came across a cow.
This cow was adventurous — she had busted through the field fence and onto the road. All her buddies were on the other side of the fence and behaving like normal cows but this cow was enjoying some exhilarating moments of freedom.
I rode up to the farm house so that I could tell the owner that one of his cows had gotten loose.
I jumped on my bike and headed back to the cow. She had a collar around her neck so I decided to lead her back to the hole in the fence. Unfortunately, she wasn’t very cooperative. I looked around to see if anyone could help me but no one was to be seen. (Later in the day, one of my tutoring students who knew about cows told me that I should have just whacked her on the backside and she would have cooperated but that didn’t occur to me at the time.)
So, there I was, talking to this cow, trying to ease her over about ten feet to the gap in the fence. After a few minutes, she actually started walking towards the gap but she stopped right in front of it. At that moment, I did what any normal person would do – I headed to her back side and started pushing.
I wish I had a video of what came next…or not.
After about a minute of futile pushing, this cow lifted her tail and pooped all over my left leg and shoe. I mean this was quite the dump . . . and there I stood.
What kind of thanks is THAT?
I did manage to push the cow through the fence despite this incidence and I wired the fence so that she couldn’t get out again. I hopped back onto my bike and rode home with this lingering smell of cow manure all around me. Lovely, isn’t it?
Welcome to living in a rural area.
I know there’s a lesson in this story somewhere – i.e. no one likes to be s–t on – but I think I’ll just leave it at that. 🙂