There is a huge difference between the anxious weariness that occurs because of my determination to accomplish what I want to get done in a day in my own strength and the peaceful weariness that occurs at the end of the day because of His supernatural empowering to do His will, not mine.
I have felt some anxiety in the last couple of days. My body hasn’t felt well, I haven’t slept peacefully and my mind is churning. I woke up this morning and read this:
“And immediately they left their nets and followed Him.” Mark 1.18
I understand that this scripture is in the context of Jesus calling the first disciples but I was strongly and lovingly rebuked about rest. Simon, Andrew, James and John left their work and followed Jesus “at once.”
I sensed such a strong need to pull away from all the things I needed to do today and rest…“at once”.
So, I lay on a blanket on the floor, closed my eyes and prayed.
No anxiety. No worry. No churning mind. What a beautiful hour to be with Jesus.
If we are so intent on responding ever better to the love of God wherever it will lead us in our life, we will find the kind of quiet in which the movement of God in our life becomes all the more apparent; our mind will not find itself divided over many cares, but rather its one concern will be to follow the lead of God. Spiritual Exercise 20, Moment by Moment, Smith and Merz
I confess how difficult it is for me to be still before God. Yet, it is an increasing desire to grow in the interior freedom needed to orient my life to God.
I recognize and claim my longing for God.
Our only desire and our one choice should be this; I want and I choose what better leads to God’s deepening life in me. Spiritual Exercise 23, Moment by Moment, Smith and Merz
Learn from me. Matthew 11.29