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Kids On A Rope

“Hold onto the rope and follow me.”

Remember when it was this simple to take care of our children? I do.

I have wonderful memories of being a young, stay-at-home mom.  I encouraged all three children to be adventurous and try new things but I was always right there to protect and defend them. (Actually, I believe all three kids would interrupt right here and say that I wasn’t so “hands-on” great with the physical injuries that they endured…and they’re right. I was more of a “just put a bandaid on it and go out and play” kind of mother – I didn’t dote on their boo-boos. Apparently, I wasn’t too impressive with the broken finger either…right, Danae?)

Anyways, the point is this: when my children were young, there was a much stronger sense of being in control.  I revelled in being the primary influence and I enjoyed every minute of creatively teaching values and truth into their lives. I strived to be a good and loving mom and I longed to find balance and wisdom in my parenting.

When school started, my children’s worlds got bigger and I remember feeling resentful towards the perceived bad influence of others.  My heart’s inclination was to gather all three little chicks under my protective wing and to protect but my head told me that it was wiser to insulate than it was to isolate them.  I wanted my children to experience childhood to the fullest, yet mature and become equipped to handle the inevitable realities of this world.

I naively thought that my children would keep holding onto the rope. When they let go, I wasn’t ready.

Years later, I still struggle with balance in this area.

Independence vs. dependence.

Holding on vs. letting go.

Acceptance vs. challenging.

Helping vs. allowing failure.

Talking vs. listening.

Dawne, Danae and Drew are all grown up now, with lives of their own and I’m still their mom.  I continue to think about, pray for and hurt with them.

Those younger mom days were physically and emotionally exhausting but these older mom days certainly have their challenges too. I’m very aware that I’m not in control.

I never was.

You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.       Proverbs 19.21 NLT

No Comments

  1. Kathy taylor

    Such a delicate balance..
    But now I see too many helicopter parents hovering over every action and detail.
    I also was like you , Diane, encouraging them to be independent, and praying that they would make the right choices from what I have taught them. Now I’m enjoying interacting with thie offspring! I love being a Gramma!

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