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Lesser Forgiveness

This sculpture has a powerful message.

Two adults with their backs to one another — yet each inner child wants to connect with and simply love the other.

Age has so many beautiful gifts but the pride, resentment and misunderstanding that adults can hold onto when they’re in conflict with others is a sad burden.

I’m reminded of a term that I recently learned: David Murray calls it, “lesser forgiveness.”

Lesser forgiveness has two parts.

First, there is a forgiving attitude, being ready to forgive, eager to forgive, even praying for the opportunity to forgive. It’s about be forgiving without actually giving forgiveness.

Second, there is a giving of the matter over to God. It’s saying,”I’m not going to carry this around any longer. I’m not going to attack or avoid, but neither can I reconcile. So, I give it over to God, I let it loose from my heart and I say, “The judge of all the earth will do right.”


Sometimes, it’s about respectfully giving time and space to each other.

Waiting is wise.


Sometimes, it’s about lovingly listening to each other.

Understanding, not just being understood.


Sometimes, the conflict is resolved and the relationship deepens.

Reconciliation is glorious.


But other times,  it’s just the way life unfolds – for a multitude of reasons.

Our lives don’t screech to a halt when the “sorry” doesn’t come . . .


. . . but the hope is always there.


The world may be broken but hope is not crazy.                                                                           John Green

we grieve with hope2



  1. Barb Smith

    Thanks Diane for putting words to the difficult dynamics of forgiveness. I appreciate your wisdom and insights!

    • Diane (Author)

      Thanks, Barb. Hope to connect with you some day! 🙂

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