We live very close to an active train track.
It’s definitely not for everybody but I have learned that when I am attuned to the Holy Spirit, He can use anything to speak into my life. He’s been doing this for the past forty years – powerful life lessons taught in the simple “goings-on” of my life.
I am on a journey of healing. These past three years have been painful and rich. So many moments of acknowledging truth, grieving, lamenting and releasing. I was gently reminded today that we learn the most from situations and people we resist the most.
Often when I am lying in bed at night, I can hear the distant horn blowing and I know the train is coming from the north. Within minutes, I can see the bright lights exploding through our bedroom window and the house moves – sometimes, ever so little and but sometimes, the foundation shakes. It takes time for the train to pass – nothing can rush it and nothing can stop it. I have learned to wait in quiet confidence that at some point, the noise will become a distant rumble.
That’s what the healing journey feels like to me. It starts with a feeling — the horn is blowing in the distant…and the train is coming. The lights blast and to be honest, my being has often been shaken to the core. It’s loud and messy and overwhelming and I don’t like it but I have learned to be confident in the truth that this too will pass.
I belong to Jesus. He’s got me in His competent hands. He loves me – this I know. He chooses to raise my bruised places to heal them. There is no other path for me.
This morning, I read, “God had a purpose for me long before anyone had an opinion.”
I don’t need to prove or explain or be approved. I don’t want to rebuild what God is actively eroding in my life, even though there are times, every cell in my body wants to take back the control. I admit – my limbs have been flailing a lot lately.
But I am grounded and willing to stay where God puts me. Still and waiting. Open and undefended.
Trusting in the slow and deep work of my Creator.
Some of my favourite song lyrics come from Andrew Peterson — Fallin’ down ain’t graceful but I thank the Lord that falling’s full of grace.
God hugs you. You are encircled by the arms of the mystery of God. You shine so finely, it surpasses understanding. St. Hildegard of Bingen