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My Heart’s Cry

I’ve had a quiet day.  Chris left super early this morning and made his way to Windsor for a golf tournament in honor of a deceased friend.  I was able to sleep in a bit, wake up and listen to the waves for a while and do some serious puttering all day.  I cranked up the music, cleaned the house and packed my bags for tomorrow’s road trip. There has been a beautiful breeze blowing off the lake and well…a day just can’t get much better.

Alone time. No talking. No helping. Nap time. No pressures. No schedule to follow. Time to look up and within. Unexpected moments of restoration. No goals. Sitting down. Bran Flakes for lunch. Wearing Chris’ sweatshirt and my fleece pajama bottoms. Chai tea, a chocolate ice cream bar and movie night.

I listened to a song by Ben Harper this morning – the tune and the lyrics have stayed with me all day and spoken to my heart.

http://youtu.be/SCCqOURAiHg

Don’t Give Up On Me Now

Time, it opens all wounds
And trust is gonna put me in the tomb 
The world isn’t mine, the world isn’t mine to save 
I can’t afford to lose what you resell and throw away

And I don’t even know myself, 
What it would take to know myself
I need to change, I don’t know how 
Don’t give up on me now

It’s not what we do, it’s what we do with what we feel
Takes all you have to stare it down, and whisper “Devil, no deal.”
And I don’t wanna fight, don’t wanna fight my father’s war 
You can wait your whole life 
Not knowing what you’re waiting for

And I don’t even know myself,
What it would take to know myself
I need to change, I don’t know how
Don’t give up on me now, don’t give up on me now
Don’t give up on me now, don’t give up on me now

I don’t even know myself,
What it would take to know myself
I need to change, I don’t know how
Don’t give up on me now 

The chorus just grabs my heart. I recognize the deep and guttural cry for God. I’ve been there.  There truly is a ” God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing.  It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.” (Blaise Pascal)

When I read the Bible today, I stopped and I “remembered when” because of this song.

The most intimate times with God have happened in my darkest days – when every minute of life hurt.

I miss that intimacy. I miss that yearning.

But it’s still been a good day.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? ”    Psalm 42:  2

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  1. Debbie

    I just presented yesterday reminding a room full of people, who know all too well a painful life, that their Higher Power has never ever left them, that he/she was there in the midst of their pain and dark times, and to keep clearing a way to meet him/her because he/she is there waiting to be discovered. I like to think that in the brighter days our relationship with our higher power is the ‘gold nugget’ of perserverance. Enjoy God’s presence in the breeze from your lake, the quiet of your clean home and the coziness of Chris’s sweatshirt- clearly He is very near Diane. Safe journey on your road trip. Peace and Joy.

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