My daughter recently found this on a blog. She forwarded it with the message, “that’s you!!”
I’m no mermaid but I truly am a person who doesn’t want to settle for shallow living because to me, it is synonymous with a wasted life.
I’ve never been interested in small talk or for that matter, in a small walk on this earth. It’s not excitement that I desire – it’s depth and meaning. The older I get, the more cognizant I am about the brevity of my life and the insignificance of so much that others deem important. I desire authenticity, not pretense. I desire relationships that are deep, not wide and a “big” walk on this earth means loving, influencing and pointing others to the Way, the Truth and the Life, who is Jesus.
Yet, I am painfully aware of my sin. I am selfish and self protecting, impatient and controlling, judgmental and unloving. There are days that I long for heaven because everything seems wrong and I feel hopelessly lost. In these moments, I ask God to help me to be honest about my weariness and expectant of His comfort.
I need to remind myself that I may feel hopeless but I know Hope. Jesus did not live a shallow life. He changed lives. His agonizing death on the cross for my sin and His unconditional love for my messy life makes me want more of Him and less of what this world offers me. I want Him to increase and me to decrease. (John 3.30) Although there are times that I hide, there are more times that I seek.
It’s tiring to pretend that life is better than it is. There are some glorious moments but there is far more pain, disappointment and true exposure of my sinful self. I want to go through life, not around it but that involves risk and hope and ups and downs…and depth.
There is no shallowness when you have purpose and Hope…
…but there is peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4.7)
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you. Isaiah 26.3 NIV