It’s great to get back to my blog!
Last week passed by so quickly in Kansas and we survived the stifling,110°F (43ºC ) weather for the entire five days. I ran from the a.c.’d hotel room to the a.c.’d sanctuary to a.c.’d restaurants to the a.c.’d workout gym. My husband and two friends of mine attended the National Worship Leaders Conference from Monday to Thursday and I tagged along with my laptop, hoping to get some good writing done during the day. In the evening, I joined in with three thousand other people as we participated in some awesome worship times. I want to tell you about one particular experience.
I am not a very demonstrative worshipper. I love to sing, I appreciate good music and I enjoy the quiet moments to reflect on God but you won’t see me jumping up and down with my arms in the air – I’ve never experienced that kind of “abandonment.” We all got a good laugh when one of the speakers introduced the T-Rex Method of worship, as shown below by my husband.
I strongly relate to this posture because I do indeed feel a hesitancy to be completely free in my worship. I know there is more within me that I want to express when I worship because when I sign with the deaf, I give myself permission to enlarge my signs. I raise my hands quite freely when I am singing-signing. But if I’m not signing, I’m not very physical when I worship.
As we began worship on Monday night, Nicole C. Mullen encouraged us all to place our hands on our laps, palm upward. I liked it. It was a simple gesture but it signified a willingness to accept the Holy Spirit working in me.
Fast forward to Wednesday night and Matt Redman is leading worship. As we sang, my heart felt so full of praise and then something unusual happened to me. We were singing The Stand and the words to the chorus are:
So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Without a thought, I stood up and raised both my arms high, closed my eyes and sang with complete freedom. Nothing else mattered, no one else mattered…it was just God and me. I was awe-filled and completely involved in the moment. When I opened my eyes, there were hundreds of names of God projected on and raining down the two side walls of the sanctuary and for a moment, I felt completely captivated by God – totally enveloped in His presence. I remember the fleeting thought that “this must be what Heaven is like.” It was a precious moment for me.
I still don’t think you’ll ever see me jumping up and down, fist pounding the air but I did notice that this morning at church, while I was signing to the deaf, I took a few seconds to close my eyes and really focus on what I was singing/signing. My hands got a little higher and I moved past the T-Rex posture. Amen.
Here’s a snippet of “The Stand” by Matt Redman.