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The Knot Prayer

A special writer friend of mine periodically pens her beautiful thoughts and intriguing nuggets of truth to family and friends. She recently shared this prayer online. Nobody seems to know the original author.

I suppose you could say it’s been “written” by us all.

Dear God,

Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart, and  my life.
Remove the have-nots, the can-nots, and the do-nots
that are in my mind.
Erase the will-nots, the may-nots, and the might-nots
that have found a home in my heart.
Release me from the could-nots, the would-nots, and the should-nots
that obstruct my life.
But most of all, dear God,
Please remove from my mind, my heart, and my life
all of the “am-nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought that I am not good enough.

We are often held hostage to this crippling lie – that we’re not good enough.

Such a place of defeat.

In the past, I’ve been there as an athlete, student, daughter, friend, wife and mother. Truth be told, I’ve recently revisited that place as a friend, writer, wife and mother.

When the“am-nots” entangle me, it truly feels like I have no access to the breath-of-fresh-air freedom in Christ. For a time, I settle for stale-air bondage, withdrawal and insecurity.

But I don’t stay there.

Prison is not for me.

Remember those junior high school gym classes when the teacher would time your ascent up those big, fat ropes that hung from the ceiling? Those knotted ropes taunted me with unbridled power. They seem to be saying,“You’ll never be good enough to conquer me.” 

I practised during gym classes, before school and through many recesses . . . for two years.

I remember the day in Grade 8 when victory came.

Those knots on the rope became the leverage to pull myself myself towards the gym ceiling. What a feeling of exhilaration, when I rang that rusty bell at the top. Nobody else was in the gym at the time (I had snuck in during recess) but it didn’t matter. This was my battle and my victory. I didn’t need to prove it to anyone.

In life, it is Christ’s victory that I claim. His truth. His healing. His calm in me.

I can’t do it myself but I am enough in His eyes.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12.9

I am worthy. I am loved, I am enough

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