This is my picture of “trust.”
That’s me hanging off the black handle trapeze.
In his wonderful book, Sabbatical Journey, Henry Nouwen explains that there is a very special relationship between the flyer (me) and the catcher (God) in trapeze work. The flyer lets go and swings out in the air – it’s actually his job, at that moment, to be as still as he can and wait for the strong hands of the catcher to pluck him out of the air. The flyer must never try to catch the catcher. He must wait in absolute trust. The catcher will catch him- that’s his job.
It’s the waiting that’s the hardest work. I’ve been there…many times.
In the past, I’ve grasped for the trapeze swing (as depicted in this stunning piece of artwork) but as I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus, I’ve become more willing to quietly and confidently wait, truly internalizing the truth that my heavenly Father will catch me. (The green represents life and the big hook represents God’s hold on my life). It’s been difficult to give my heart to Jesus – I mean, I’ve done it many times – but I’ve taken it back many times too because it’s always been easier to try to control my own life.
Trusting is tough for me.
I didn’t grow up with a father and my mother was very inconsistent in her responses towards my brothers and I. As a child, I had no idea what it felt like to be attentively, gently and protectively loved by a safe person…and that greatly affected me.
He has pursued my soul. He has caught me when I was hanging.
He has been faithful in holding onto my wounded heart and healing me – from the inside out.
Thank you, Jesus.
Those who know your name trust in you. For you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you. Psalm 9.10