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What About Relationships?

No person is your forever.

Many people in our lives are lessons but no people are our forever.

Oh, how much lighter life would be if we were able to internalize this truth early in our relationships. But then again, how do we learn about who we are without disappointment, struggle and heartache?

When I was teaching high school and graduation came around in June, I often heard students vow they would remain “besties” for life – that they would continue their friendships forever and that they would never lose touch. I’m still in touch with many of those students and six years after the fact, I estimate that about 25% of those students have any real contact with their high school buddies.

It’s how the cookie crumbles. (as my Nana used to tell me – not sure how or if these words ever helped me when I was young but they seemed appropriate here and now.)

And when those high school students broke up with their girl/boyfriends, they were devastated and felt that the world was ending. Often the tears flowed, the marks went down, the depression overwhelmed them and they couldn’t see or think straight for weeks. I spent many a lunch time, huddled in the stairways, listening to their sadness and trying to help them with perspective.

But some things you just have to make your way through.

I believe it all belongs. Every love, every breakup, every “crush”,  every conflict, every friendship that comes to an abrupt end – it all belongs. There are so many lessons to be learned and most of us don’t learn much in the good times, do we? The tough times teach us to savour the good times but the deep soul lessons? Well, they are learned through struggle and pain.

My gymnastics coach used to tell me, “It hurts now Diane but one day, it will be your warm up.”

No one is our forever – but Jesus.

I remember the first time I was bluntly but lovingly told, “Every relationship you will ever have will disappoint you so don’t hang your hat on anybody but Jesus.”

Definitely one of the wisest perspectives ever shared with me. No one will ever understand, love, accept and cherish me like Jesus does. I am His beloved. He calls me beautiful one. (Song of Solomon 2.13) It’s taken years for this truth to settle deep within my spirit. Sometimes I wonder why it’s taken so long but I believe that it all belongs – every experience in my life belongs – no pain has been wasted – and I am at peace.





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