When I read these words this morning, my heart feel deep sadness – for a time.
I’ve only been learning how to “find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life” for the past seven years. This makes we wonder what I was learning for the other fifty four years of God-given breath on this earth.
I can tell you that somewhere along the path, I learned how to perform, feel insecure and anxious, people please, glorify busyness, “do” instead of “be”, organize my time and be productive. I learned lots of good stuff too, for which I am so thankful – but this morning, I let myself feel sadness for my childhood. School was always a magic place for me because I got to be “me” for those hours and I played hard but I remember heaviness, nervousness and uncertainty at home.
I hope I did a better job with my young children. I think I did. I remember jumping in puddles and doing art with Cheerios. We glued and danced and laughed and played and explored for many years. I had a lot of fun as a young mom.
But church was a place to behave and in those days, church was synonymous with spiritual life. I didn’t want others to think negatively about me because of my children’s behaviour. I wasn’t focusing on the wonder and marvel of their ordinary lives – I was hoping – perhaps demanding – that my children would measure up and shine a positive light on me as their mother because of my insecurities. Kinda’ makes me sad thinking about all that. My, oh my – how I have changed.
These days, I know without question that I am a child of God. Deeply loved. Fully known. And living in this incredible truth, I have experienced extraordinary moments in my ordinary life. I’m more aware. On the lookout for Jesus in my days. Paying attention. Taking note. Being present in the moment. Not always but often. These days, Chris and I are waiting for THE call from our daughter/son-in-law that we’ve become grandparents once again. We are so excited about this little gift from God popping out and bringing boundless joy to our extended family. I want to help this precious one find the wonder and the marvel in her ordinary life as she grows up. I’m so looking forward to enjoying the little things in life with her:
Frogs and giggles.
Rubber boots and balloons.
Flannel PJs and puzzles.
Snowflakes and afternoon naps.
Colouring and cupcakes.
Little stones and birthday parties.
Pillow fights and sea shells.
Glitter and Hopscotch.
Skipping ropes and goofy Knock Knock Jokes.
Dress up and finger puppets.
Hugs and kisses.
Hula hoops and jelly beans.
Kites and magnets.
Macaroni and pancakes.
Shiny things and trampolines.
Yo-yos and roller skates.
And the extraordinary will indeed take care of itself.
Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it was different: enjoying the present without holding on when it changes. (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t). James Baraz