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Young Momhood

As a young mom, I felt great love for my children….

but I don’t remember feeling strong. I remember feeling inadequate, responsible, happy, unsure, committed, protective, overwhelmed, empathetic, exhausted, proud, hopeful, teachable and enthusiastic…but I didn’t feel strong. At least, not very often.

More often, I felt like I was functioning from a platform of weakness.

This morning, I took a quick peek in my old journals that I wrote when I had young children and here are some sentences that I wrote about being a mom. (Keep in mind that back then, I tended to journal more when I was struggling than when life was running smoothly.)

I truly can’t believe that the hospital actually let me take this baby home. Do they really think I’m responsible enough?

Everyday, I’m reminded of how much I don’t know. 

When Dawne was born, someone gave me a card that said, “Congratulations on having your first baby..” and when I opened the card, it continued with, ” Life as you once knew it is now over.”  A very wise woman must have penned that saying. Is there life beyond mothering? Will I ever be able to converse with an adult again?

I’m beginning to wonder if I will ever surface. 

I can’t tell if parenting is killing me or making me stronger.

 I’m so tired this morning that I’m thinking of locking all three kids and I in this bedroom and mothering  from my bed.

Being a mommy is providing some of the best moments of my life. 

Young motherhood was relentless. With its constant onslaught of demands, expectations, exhaustion and joy, it was the most blessed and discouraging job on earth…and yesterday, it all came back to me.  I spent the morning with a group of young moms.

My friend had asked me to come and speak to this amazing group of women who are up to their elbows in diapers, laundry, battery operated toys and macaroni and cheese.  As I watched them come into the room and settle into their chairs, I could see both the fatigue of being moms and the relief of coming together, without their children for this short time, and relaxing. 

Perhaps it might have been better if they could all have taken an hour long nap.

But no…they all stayed awake and were so gracious as I shared from my heart and did my best to encourage them to “hold unswervingly to the hope they professed for He who promised is faithful. “ (Hebrews 10.23)

I think many of these beautiful women felt weak, vulnerable and unsure…and I’m so thankful that they have each other for support.

They need each other’s ears.

They need each other’s stories.

They need each other’s prayers.

…and they need God’s grace each and every day.

Thank you Vicky…for gifting me with the opportunity to meet this group of precious women. I was blessed…and I want to remind each woman I met, that she is loved by her heavenly Father, who loves her children even more than she does.

Tish, Lisa, Evelyn, Irma, Danielle, Wendy, Vicky, Faye, Amanda, Janis, Lindsay, Tavi and Tavi’s friend…thought you’d like this poem.

It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.   Joyce Maynard

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  1. Reblogged this on My Blog.

  2. kullikky

    Oh Diane” I can relate! I remember going to a a woman’s group and being asked what I needed prayer for. I replied ” for the time from 4:30 pm to dinner time. ” I remember so clearly how I felt after coming home from school after teaching 30 other children, and having my own three pull me from all directions. I was absolutely overwhelmed! When your emotions are involved ( your own children) it is more difficult to stay in control when one is whining about being hungry, another is complaining that there’s too much homework, and the third is prancing around singing and dancing and driving me and her siblings crazy…. I really felt the need for prayer for that timeframe. It was so much easier to teach other people’s children!
    Bless you for sharing with these moms and being an encourager for them!
    on, Diane!

  3. Anne

    My one enduring memory of those years is complete and utter exhaustion, wondering why someone couldn’t see where I was at, and come along side of me – or at least clean the bathroom! However, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat – I love my children and those really were the best years of my life as everyone told me.

    • Amen to that! They were really good years, weren’t they? Diane

  4. Amanda

    Diane, thank you so much for your time with us. For providing us hope in looking for the groundhog moments in life, for reminding us that life is short and we must live the most in our “dash”, for encouraging us to be secure in being misunderstood and most of all, for showing us that it’s ok to be real and honest.
    You impacted our lives greatly and it was wonderful to get to spend the time with you on Tuesday morning. You are a blessing and a testament to the love of God in your heart and His outflowing of his Spirit in your life.
    Hope we can meet again soon. <3

    • Good Morning, Amanda! Thanks so much for your kind words. It was such a delight to meet you and I too, hope that we can meet again soon. I really do! Enjoy your week! Diane

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